Written by Ariadne Efthymiadi
My dear fellas,
I believe you’ve been waiting long enough and since I don’t wish to torture you no more, here you have my comeback with a killer list. You see, I’ve been thinking that sometimes either willingly or unconsciously, we make sure that certain conditions hold for the successful fulfilment of a great movie night at home, like Domino’s being on the way or your bestie sitting on the couch or maybe that nobody’s around to witness that you’re watching 50 Shades of Grey (Oops!). And then it hit me, that no matter the circumstances, nothing’s gonna be of any help if you choose the wrong movie to spend the night with your …mommy and daddy !Since I’m working for you baes, I’m telling you, keep your folks away when these movies are on play !
10) American Pie (1999)
American Pie is a teen movie set in 1999 and surprisingly enough, constitutes the only comedy of this resonant list. But why would a comedy be uncalled or improper for a movie night with your loving mom and dad? You see, this movie is as American as its cheesy title or better, according to the writer “as American as apple pie.”The popular teen film revolves around sex and every single silly way American amateur high school boys picture it, plan it and get it done . And unfortunately, apple pies won’t ever be a pleasant experience either for Jim’s dad or yours I’m afraid !
9) Shame (2011)
Shame is like a venom. While watching it you find yourself lost deeper and deeper in its underlying layers and dilemmas as they emerge from every single scene where Brandon expends himself in trivial sexual intercourses with strangers, colleagues, girlfriends and prostitutes. We are not sure who Brandon really is, why this awkward, intense attitude and apathy towards his little sister, why his general attitude towards life as well but as New York’s grey color inherent in every still , we get a taste of what shame really feels like on the inside of our throat through his every move or interaction. Not an ideal choice when your mom and dad comes back from work, right?
8) Dogtooth (2009)
Dogtooth is the provocative , critically acclaimed film by Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos. Since his nomination for Best Foreign Language Film at the 83th Academy Awards was the first one since 1977 and Kakogiannis’s Iphigenia, many Greek families considered it their duty to watch this significant Greek production and have an opinion for themselves. Oh boy , this decision took them down for good! It is not only that this film can be seen as a testament of what deviant perceptions the human mind can acquire and promote when in isolation or how morality and socially accepted norms are vanished without -while within though- society; but the fact that the institution of family loses arbitrarily its primary significance and value as it turns into a means of complete human perversion that mainly constitutes this film impossible for normal, traditional Greek parents to watch.
7) We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
In the same mood, Tilda Swinton finds herself in isolation ,the one imposed on you by society after the revelation that her teenage son turned his entire class, dad and baby sister into a real carnage. Going back, this ordinary mother struggles to put her life back together, to think and to remember all the small things that could have warned her of her son’s evil nature but chose to ignore. A mother who believed in her son’s innocence and good heart and let a hideous ,evil plan be fulfilled won’t be the right choice for two hours with the woman who made you from the scratch… Am I wrong?
6) Precious (2009)
I remember watching this truly shocking film with my sister on national TV one fine winter night. This film hasn’t gained its fair position in the list because of any exposure to nudity or raw violence but rather to its raw depiction of the complete and appalling lack of sympathy , even mere human compassion of a repulsive and malignant mother towards her obese, abused by her own father and her husband , teenage daughter. Precious tries to see life not as a pursuit of happiness but rather as a way of living that can be described as plainly human. Precious is no film to watch with your family cause it simply proves that sometimes the people you belong to are the ones you seriously need to walk away from.
5) Sleeping Beauty (2011)
Don’t get tricked, this Australian drama is no fairy-tale. Based on the director’s, Julia Leigh, own dream experiences and novels by Kawabata and Gabriel Garcia Marquez, this Sleeping Beauty refers to the story of a pretty female university student who gets paid to fall asleep in a gigantic beautiful bedroom while different things happen around her. Although characterized by viewers as a disturbing experience , this enigmatic erotic drama constitutes the most highly aesthetic examination on dreams, reality , what we see and what cannot be seen I’ve ever seen. The sleeping beauty, Emily Browning forbid her own father from watching this film . Do you believe for yours is gonna be any easier?
4) Heavenly Creatures(1994)
Kate Winslet’s screen debut was made in this Peter Jackson’s psychological thriller which is based on the notorious 1954 Parker -Hulme murder case in Christchurch, New Zeland. Pauline and Juliet , a fourteen and a fifteen year old girl, are sharing an obsessive , intimate friendship which distracts and further distances them away from reality and its real consequences. And so, the perfect day for Pauline to reconcile with her “ignorant” parents seems to be in her diary the day where we murder …mom and daddy !
3) The Black Swan (2012)
In addtion to all the psychotic personality traits, the narcissism of a world full of ballerinas and a passionate night shared with Mila Kunis,the “black swan” finds its roots in Nena’s mother. This is a mother who demands her daughter’s total submission, likes to dressing and undressing her up like a doll in her pink room, cuts her nails and makes her eat , despite her strict diet, fatty pink cakes. There’s an air of a sexual familiarity between them; an air which keeps Nena back from living her life to the fullest and having satisfaction from any kind of personal relationship while finally drives her to the total destruction of her white and pure aspect, in order for her black swan to finally rise…
2) La Vie d’Adele (2013)
Although a mesmerizing story about love , about films which transcend themselves and expose us to a life as seen through a keyhole with sentiments bigger than life; La Vie d’Adele portrays the life and the love between her two female protagonists in the most realistic terms and makes the critics talk about the necessity of editing in films and the thin , perhaps unseen, boundaries between art creations and porno. This movie contains a great deal of the most awkward minutes in the history of cinema when Adele and Emma stay alone in the room.
Irreversible is known as one of the most- if not the most- shocking movies that ever premiered at the Cannes Film Festival. Going backwards, Gaspar Noe’s most well-known picture recounts and emphasizes the tremendous burden of sudden , inexplicable loss.The staggering last scene is left to shatter the leftovers of our mood and haunts the sound of “if” we kept telling to ourselves to hush our conscience. Irreversible has shocked with two particular scenes all viewers , critics and film studies’ students and so fairly wins my n1 of movies you should never watch with your parents!
That was me pals, again! I don’t know about you but I’ve missed you greatly and I’m really glad I’m finally back. Many of these movies are inappropriate for watching with your folks but are great for watching alone or with the right company! Till next time…
Take care and read our blog…